爲什麽借題 [望月欣賞] 呢? 何在於 [欣賞] 呢? 這是一種 [借殼指月] 嗎?
其實望月乃是 [忘月] 緣起的因緣法的經歷過程而已罷了? 當初 [釋如岸師父] 正式離開老禪師慧門師父創辦的 [台灣花蓮百丈山道場] 之因緣, 單刀匹馬在於在家人居士供養中, 自個人也一分耕種一份收穫的點滴因緣之下, 盡在點滴畫面上不言而表達其内涵開始新一頁 [忘月山水禪] 了! 這算和百丈山老師父白手起家創立原始的看話參禪沒有什麽差別了! 至少末學遠方思維之下感覺如此..如是..如實..呀!
網上的空中加油站及種種因緣, 更方便因末學耳根障礙接觸之因緣了, 表示縮短了人類人性人與人之間的溝通交流橋梁了呀! 這是很可喜而快樂難遇難得的因緣呀! 感恩現今當下科學化方面的進步和發展電腦因緣了!
末學不幸沒有足夠因緣精進禪修和參禪, 只因爲身心幾年前敗壞了, 雖然受到時空一點點滴約束! 但是還是不斷繼續努力自個人在家觀禪配合參禪的路程當中!
Thursday, May 27, 2021
望月欣賞 (1)
Tuesday, May 25, 2021
An Eye-Opening Journey
The eye-opening journey
~ The eye-opening journey ~
~ extracted from my previous written article in a blog that I somehow managed to accidentally pick up again through another online friend. （这是早期在于一位朋友留下的部落（blog）因缘。自已blog已经弄掉了！所以只靠脸书留下而重新再贴上自个儿初初观禅的浅薄粗糙经历和过程)。
This eye-opening journey had since changed my approach & attitude toward the remaining of my existing life-journey. I really appreciated with blessing that I had the golden opportunity to take part in my first-ever 2 weeks Vipassana Meditation Retreat Course near the foot of the famous Mount Kinabalu, a place called Kundasang in Sabah State of Eastern Malaysia prior my family & I migrated to Singapore once upon a time. This place is indeed a very nice, very cool with fresh air & also quiet & peaceful environment for any retreat of relaxation. Today, perhaps you will easily find a Zen Garden around that area. This spot & its surroundings such like National Park perhaps are best to be described as the land below the wind in South East Asia.
Vipassana Meditation Retreat Courses have actually been opening to all walks of people of living lives on earth who are interested regardless colors, races, backgrounds, cultures, status beliefs or religions as long as one keeps the rules of the retreat's organisation. It was a journey to look & explore inwardly within own self of body & mind & it is simply "don't just believe but just come & see & taste it yourself " of the very down-to-earth practical, penetrative & insightful of direct personal experience. It is simply naturally observing the breathing in & breathing out of our body-mind phenomena of meditation nothing else!
The Meditation Schedule was indeed very tight beginning very early in morning well before dawn till the very late night of the day. For every sitting meditation of one hour, immediately following with a hour walking meditation to balance the mind & body system. 2 meals were being served with options of vegetarian & non-vegetarian serving before noon. After a few days of gradually settling down, I felt comfortably quiet, slow, calm, steady & peaceful despite few yogis sharing together in a room with double decks of beds perhaps partly also due to my hearing impair. My monkey mind was not so easily wandering around by then.
Time really flied & it did seem pretty short or brief at all whenever I was very mindful during my meditation sessions, be it sitting or walking meditation. Walking meditation did help a lot for good sitting meditation. However, there were many occasions, I was distracted & lost my momentum of mindfulness or awareness & had to re-start afresh every now & then. On walking meditation, there are few stages that could be noted successively such like taking off, lifting, forwarding or swinging, pushing or pulling, dropping or landing & pressing etc on the floor. On many occasions, when I was sitting meditation while watching the breathing in & breathing out (rising & falling of abdomen as primary object to be mindfully noted or observed) phenomena, there were many sensations such as pain, itching, hot or cold, tension, numbness, hardness or softness, vibrations, pulling, pushing etc etc & some were real funny phenomena to express in words. Always toward the very end of breathing-out's stroke, it usually got the tightness or squeezing feeling of phenomena, sometime with successive vibrations too. There seemed to be many things or phenomena within a single stroke of either rising or falling of the belly. On one very particular occasion, toward the ultimate end of an breathing out (falling) stroke, a few like kinda sorts of clear luminary fire-flies of round or circular shapes bubbles sprung out or popping out one after another out of blue right in front of my mind-eye's screen (at the middle part of both eyebrows) though my physical eyes remained closed! Fantastic! It began from the left hand side of the eye-mind screen popping out so fast toward to the right hand side on the screen immediately following one after another. It popped out, stayed for a while in the mind-eye's screen till there were few numbers something like 6 or 7 bubbles! It was a continuity stream of similar sorts of luminous & moving or alive bubbles one after another, very much like the fire-flies, & their existence remained separately with a gap with each other as well as independently with each other. They were also sorts of alive like microbiology similar forms observing under a microscope. It was so clear & sharp happening right in front of me though they lasted only just flash of a moment! So fast so sudden indeed! This was what & how I first ever learning about such a thing called 'mind-eye' in our human being system!
My instructor asked me did I know or understand what it was? I said, "no, no idea at all". He somehow simply responded that it was the nature's characteristic behavior or phenomena of our body-mind-game/system. And it is like that & it behaves as such such. He asked me to read some books of the kinda after the retreat course. He also encouraged me to carry on as it was & moved on as what I had been doing accordingly even after each meditation retreat there after. "That is your own guiding path or teacher " he exclaimed! Indeed, I was very pleased & very convinced with his simple yet humble remark without any air of authority shown as a teacher or an instructor. Other-times, I had been sitting solidly & stillness like a rock, yet at the same time I could be extremely sensitive, fresh & alert to any sensual organ of the body upon contact. For example, once, my body was gently touched around right hand arm by a yogi during a night meditation session perhaps a signal asking me to get ready for the night lecture & I was extremely sensitive & alert & sharp to the instant touching contact of my body or arm on this particular case. Though I was sitting like a rock & couldn't or didn't move at all without any feeling or thought whatsoever as if I the person wasn't there at all, & of course I wasn't aware or known of it then, till the very moment-contact of body's touching sense arising. At instant, awareness arising & then I realized, even though my head, mouth, eyes or fingers couldn't move or at still state. Only after, then I began to know or realise I was still like a rock. It took quite a while & some intentional effort or exertion to move or exercise first my fore finger & then the rest of the fingers! That was amazing & I was wondering how it could be like that or like so!? One night, when I was sitting & I encountered my breathing got many kinds/types of sensations & phenomena, & then suddenly the breathing turned pretty short & seemed going to be jammed or even stopped & I thought I was going to be breathless & collapsed & died for that moment. The moment I got panic, everything seemed back to normal again! My instructor smiled at me for being afraid of death. You wouldn't die so easily he said rather loudly! It is really strange!
And one very early morning while sitting, I was somehow watching my body, gradually, yes gradually & systematically & momentarily, began to disappearing or disintegrating from the lower middle part of the belly toward upward direction of my chest, just like I used to watch in the TV screen the kinda of momentarily & spontaneously disappearing or vanishing picture or phenomena. I was shocked & panic being experiencing this very unusual phenomena myself & thought I was going to be disappeared or missing from this world, then straight away everything back to normal again! Isn't it strange enough!? Today, I am puzzling the statement of a wise old man once said like this:- "if 'being' with the changing or destruction, no change or no destruction can be realized or found". Would I get panic again if I have a second chance, I wonder? There were times when the choiceless meditation object automatically falling or rushing straight toward the noting mind or vice-versa. The choiceless object disappeared in no time at all upon in contact with the noting mind which seemed to be there whenever there is any object appearing or arising, yet the nature of noting mind could not be traced or tracked or discovered or known during those quiet & peaceful state of deep meditation period. Such that like as soon as the arising object appeared, the noting mind was there as if they appeared in pair as life-partner yet almost at the same moment almost at same place too! Amazing & strange enough like the sorts of cat & mouse chasing games! The object seemed always shy away upon meeting or contact with the noting mind yet the "I" or "ME" or "SELF" seemed not involved personally at any of those phenonmena arising upon conditional factors. As a matter of fact, I wasn't sure where or who or what I was at that instant or particular moment or during those period! Only when I got shock, panic, fear or afraid that they immediately arrived in time to defend or protect my selfhoodness. It was really strange feeling only when I think about it at the later stage!
The object that was arising here means any phenomenon such like itching, pain, ants crawling in the skin, intention, thought, mental image, feeling, lighting, tension, sound etc etc arising either from external or internal of our human being system. They just come & go in no time when the awareness or mindfulness (meaning the noting mind with consciousness) is very alert & sharp. If the mindfulness is not sharp enough, they may take sometime to subside or disappear. The noting mind actually is the knowing mind or momentary & instantaneously bare-awareness. This is my first taste of direct experience on mind over body & or mind over mind! The subjective here is actually NOT mean for the "I" "Me" or "SELF" that we normally call, which is like the thought or the feeling in our body & mind system. Everything or all phenomena arising naturally spontaneously & instantaneously depending upon conditional factors. Here it means the arising noting mind, the awareness mind or mindful mind, the knowing mind or the consciousness. When there is no objective then there is no subjective too, there is no one there or then. As soon as there is an objective arising, there is an automatically a subjective there already. This is what I mean here! It is the successive chains of cause & effect of principle. Here the "I" "ME" or "SELF" or "EGO" or whatever one likes to call or name, are the unchange or permanent identification of human being feeling or thinking concept. It got nothing to do with what I had been trying to express above during my Vipassana Meditation. At times while sitting, whenever there is subtle itching or subtle pain or subtle discomfort or any sensation of any part of the body arising, if the noting mind sharp enough, they all would be disappear or vanish instantly upon contact (I mean the contact or meeting of objective & subjective). Sometime, a tiny bubble arising thought or intention can easily & actually be noted & it disappeared in no time. If I am not mindful enough, the pain or itching etc thus became enlarging & that big thing or event would then be difficult to overcome & need to use great effort & energy & enough time with patience to do so! When it is still at very baby stage, it is very easy to overcome with our mindful mind with much lesser effort. It is like auto-mode!
There were times that only one very tiny point-object to note or observe such like a very delicate & soft cotton-sponge like or form, nicely & steadily & quietly to be noted or watched, but somehow just slippery to enter or penetrate into it no matter how. It seemed always very slippery whenever tried to dive or enter or penetrate into the soft cotton-sponge object. I had been wondering why? There were times while sitting or lying that a tiny tread of spot-lighting rushing toward my face & when I noted it, it instantly disappeared out of blue. I also reported to my meditation instructor that I could not or hardly fall to sleep during those meditation sessions, & if I did, only for two or three hours & I thought I had been sleeping throughout the whole night. He asked back, did I feel tire or headache or something painful or discomfort somewhere sometime? I answered, no! He responded:- Why remarked or complained, then? Meditation is deeper than normal sleeping. Meditation is the kinda of similar to sound sleep without dream yet one remains extremely fresh alert & sharp with awareness or mindfulness. This is it!
However, many times, when I started to think & analyse those happening phenomena, I lost all concentration & mindfulness & then I became restless & hence lost the momentum of the day's meditation. After a few years since this first contact in VIPASSANA MEDITATION, I had managed to touch & learn a little bit of what had been transpired in my vipassana meditation practice so far, yet I know very well that the journey ahead of me is still a rather tough & winding one as I had not improved very much since then. However & somehow, I know what I am doing or what I am going to do. It is indeed a very interesting & eye-opening exploration journey yet it needs one's greatest effort with passion to cross over to the other shore. If persistent, I am confident that it will only be getting better & clearer......in gradually understanding & realization of the truth nature in humankind living life. Each of us eat & each of us is surely full. There is no reason or impossible if one eats the other one is full, right? So, everyone is a holy book himself or herself & this is the best given gift on earth for all humankind. Please treasure it, read it & study it, but most of all, walk the talk or path, till only walking but no walker or only pain but no painer! Practice make perfect! Take Care & Thank you!
Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Sunday, May 23, 2021
My First Art Class Products At NKF Masriling Dialysis Centre ~ 2021
https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/peopleofnkf
https://www.facebook.com/NKFsg/photos/pcb.3925261247565303/3925258607565567
https://www.facebook.com/NKFsg/photos/pcb.3925261247565303/3925258594232235
Tuesday, May 18, 2021
Familiarization & training in respective to my hemodilaysis (HD) treatment or therapy in Singapore!
Q :- An invitation e-mail touching or asking for my personal own voice landed into my online mailing-box some days ago & as such I hereby today morning respond accordingly with my own personal genuine voice as a dialysis patient in Singapore. As far healthcare is concerned it is topic of transparency for social welfare & benefit too unless it is classified as the private & confidential personal matter. Here is my response anyhow!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Response:- Thank you for the kind timely & thoughtful invitation, right here & now, for my sweet 2nd home hemodialysis (HD) centre in Singapore.
Given an opportunity I surely like & want to go through similar to what NKF's further ultimate goal or mission by "going beyond dialysis" concept just a few years ago for implementing & caring for our general healthy native kidney with mass population in Singapore too in addition to the present of "giving LIFE & HOPE" to existing patients who are already struggling or suffering from Chronic Kidney Disease (CKD ~ ESKD) as a result.
In another words as an individual of hemodialysis (HD) patient, I like & want to learn more with better understanding & awareness on my own personal & genuine Artificial Kidney (AK) too in term of my life-journey of educational culture & value for better quality of living & hence independently to share & contribute in one way or another along my ageing, slow & weak journey with multiple illnesses.
Basic familiarization & training, inclusive emergency & accident safety as well, will surely keep abreast of my personal & genuine medical basic knowledge & experience/exposure as an individual dialysis patient + positive feedback with appropriate approach & positive attitude toward a charity contribution in Singapore & of course to the public at large as well.
I feel perhaps it is truly a value-added as an auxiliary drive for dialysis centre as we are truly short of manpower in Singapore after all. We need to work as a solid & united team with our centre caregivers in two ways mutual communication & interaction system.
For those younger generation of dialysis patients whether new or old patients, I wish them all the best of luck as they truly have a long way for the rest their lifestyle or life-journey.
Even though without going through familiarization, & or, training at all I had been always fond of sharing my personal experiential experiments or experience/exposure through my personal daily face book pages ever since I engaged with in October 2014 at Singapore General Hospital (SGH). It is basically as my own diary solely for my family relatives & friends, near or far. It is private one, nevertheless!
I think speak & do in phase with my own body-mind-game/system related to my own personal life-journey but I am truly lack of training in term of education culture & value at my ageing journey with multiple illnesses.
I strongly believe no one size shoe fitting for all philosophically.
With proper guidance I trust & believe perhaps I can do much better for my personal ageing quality of life-journey as well as at same time by sharing a thing or two what I had personally & genuinely gone through with prompt contribution in one way or another with those who are interested or keen to share about it.
In life, we never stop learning! That's! Thank you!
Monday, May 17, 2021
Hemodialysis (HD) familiarization or training
Q:- An invitation e-mail asking for my personal own voice dropped into my online mail-box yesterday & as such I hereby today morning respond accordingly. As far healthcare is concerned it is topic of transparency unless it is classified as the private & confidential matter. Here is my response!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A:- Thank you for the kind timely & thoughtful invitation, right here & now, for my sweet 2nd home NKF hemodialysis (HD) centre in Singapore.
Given an opportunity I surely like & want to go through similar to what NKF's further ultimate goal or mission by "going beyond dialysis" concept just a few years ago for implementing & caring for our general healthy native kidney with mass population in Singapore too in addition to the present of "giving LIFE & HOPE" to existing patients who are already suffering from Chromic Kidney Disease (CKD ~ ESKD) as a result.
In another words. as an individual of hemodialysis (HD) patient, I like & want to learn more with better understanding & awareness on my own personal & genuine Artificial Kidney (AK) too in term of my long life-journey of educational culture & value for better quality of living & hence independently to share & contribute in one way or another along my ageing slow & weak journey with multiple illnesses.
Basic familiarization & training, inclusive emergency & accident safety, will surely keep me abreast of my personal & genuine knowledge & experience/exposure as dialysis patients + positive feedback with appropriate approach & attitude toward a charity contribution such as NKF Singapore & of course to the public at large as well. I feel perhaps it is truly a value-added as an auxiliary drive for dialysis centre as we are truly short manpower in Singapore after all. We need to work as a solid & united team with our caregivers. For those younger generation of dialysis patients I wish them all the best as they truly have a long journey for the rest their lifestyle.
Without familiarization & or training at all I had been always fond of sharing my personal experiential experience/exposure through my personal daily face book pages ever since I engaged with NKF in March 2015. It is basically as my own diary solely for my family relatives & friends, near or far. It is private one, nevertheless! I think speak & do in phase with my own body-mind-game/system related to my own personal life-journey but I am truly lack training education culture & value at my ageing journey.
With proper guidance I trust & believe perhaps I can do much better for my quality of life-journey as well as at same time by sharing a thing or two what I had gone through with prompt contribution with those who are interested or keen about it.
Thank you!
Monday, May 10, 2021
NKF Art Class Q & A Project - 2021
1. May I know when did u got diagnosed with kidney failure and it was due to?
It was in 2013 I found out from SGH's renal doctor that my kidney was diagnosed with kidney failure that through biopsy surgery. It was too late for my diet discipline or control as the my blood stream toxins creatinine had reached to around 600 to 700 level. In 2014 sometime in July & I went through an artificial AV Graft surgery. By October I was admitted to SGH for gout sudden attack. It was there I began my first haemodialysis (HD) treatment or therapy beginning till today. The details of dates I can too dive into my medical records for verification as I keep a complete historical record myself. I was readily preparing for my dialysis treatment or therapy as advice & recommendation by renal doctor.
2. How did you know about the art sessions? And why did u decide to sign up for it?
Because I a deaf patient I accidentally went through personal reading at our centre notice board. No one telling me or approaching me at all. When I notice it WHY not have a trial run to interact with the group?
3. How has the art sessions helped in mentally and physically?
My monkey mind is settling fast & I can focus things better & gradually I don't feel the time is flying so fast. It is surprising indeed. My body can coordinate well with my mind. Meaning my body can match very well in phase with my moving mind. Living in a moment to/by moment.
4. I heard from Mdm Aw Ah Moy that you also go for exercises classes tog with her at IRC?
Yes, she is my good friend & we both are first batch of centre class exercise group & later art class too right form the beginning. I missed the first beginning class though due to late awareness.
5. What do you like to paint / sketch / draw? And why
Mainly it is about life & nature on earth! I didn't realize it till I began with it with writing wordings etc in respective to mind & body movement ~ then sketching or drawing painting those meaningful & valuable right in front of my eyes about those articles or photos or pictures by using traditional hand-brushes with combination of beautiful colors too. By doing so, I can express my inner silent voice with inspiration ideas （靈感） too. So gradually I enjoy doing in our social group which is closely guided & led by our experienced artist teacher. I feel very encouraging & confidence gradually. Sort of reborn feeling once again! Suddenly I feel that dialysis life-journey is alive again & full of interesting things & meaningful values.
6. Do you like to paint / draw / sketch even before you joined the art classes?
No. I never think I would like nor enjoy doing it before I join them till my body-mind-game/system engaging with it & thus hinting me so it was opening my mind-heart nature in fact. From the starting point I merely responded to NKF guidance & see-look look-see approach & attitude only. But I enjoy by merely looking & appreciating them with thought bubbles （想）。 It is totally different when one merely seeing or looking or appreciating with thought bubbles than one who is truly engaging do-it-yourself (DIY）in practical sense or way! Team or group do make an impact in our community lifestyle with motivation & momentum too!
7. Has the art classes helped you bond with other patients and do you show your completed pieces with your family?
Yes, of course not only I can improve the relationship & bondage within our own community or people I feel I have better understanding too. I am surely in one complete piece. I also beginning to learn the basic artistic life & nature relationship on earth through reflection of our works. Any piece of art work is very meaningful & valuable to me, philosophically. My family strongly support with my engagement because I tend to be more independent with motivation initiative & inspiration along my ageing lifestyle with multiple illnesses along my slowly down life-journey because I enjoy it very much though in different category within my family, nevertheless. Yes, at the end it is one complete piece within my sweet home family & my 2nd home in NKF. I had actually discovered my own thyself !
8. Do you wish for the classes to resume again once the Covid situation eases?
Yes, surely! I hope & wish even before the Co-vid-19 pandemic easing period. We can do in different way in fact.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
NO COMMENTS:
POST A COMMENT